The understanding hit me with stark clarity that the mental health facility treating my teenager mirrored a locked ward.
Our Ruth had relied completely in the medical establishment. We had trusted equally. That trust shattered when she was shifted from our local medical facility to the psychiatric intensive care unit at the mental health institution.
When we departed, she walked calmly down to the hospital transport with me and the play therapist – who held her close and said goodbye.
The moment the transport entrance gave access at the treatment center, the clinical facility appeared formidable. We were met by staff who led us up steps through multiple secured entries, with each door shutting securely behind us as the key holder waited for secure engagement before accessing the following.
We entered a fully enclosed environment that was completely dark, with my eyes immediately straining from the harsh overhead lighting. They directed us to a monitoring area that was fully windowed – what staff termed the “observation room”.
The Heartbreaking Separation
Her child’s grasp held my fingers as they told me that I needed to depart. When I protested that I hadn’t met the staff, they answered that “parents are not permitted on the unit.”
I asked again, and they relented I could see her room, only briefly, but then I had to leave right away. It was hospital policy.
To this day, I rise during the dark hours with my heart pounding heavily while reliving that journey through the communal zone to Ruth’s designated room. The room contained only a individual cot and plastic furniture, with fixed glass.
Their voices grew distant as they explained how a different attendants would watch Ruth constantly. I placed her belongings on the ground. Ruth remained positioned on the bed, obviously scared, before I was ushered from the room.
Suddenly, I found myself trapped beyond those locked portals, holding a piece of paper that told me I could see Ruth for one hour, on two occasions each week.
How could I have allowed to this?
A Life Cut Short
{Our daughter, our child, succumbed on Valentine’s Day 2022 at 6:29 PM on the children’s ICU at John Radcliffe hospital in the city. She was taken immediately from the mental health facility, an government-contracted but commercially operated youth psychiatric facility, where she had been allowed to harm herself lethally two days earlier.|Our Ruth passed away on February 14, 2022 at 6:29 PM in the {pediatric intensive care unit|
